Was i supposed to make an announcement?
Ok, here it is. The Little Red Haired Girl is preggers. It’s been 2 months since we’ve been public about it, and I still find myself having to announce it in various places. Someone congratulated me yesterday and I had no idea what he was talking about, and he had to explain to me that we haven’t seen each other since he found out.
A couple weeks ago someone else (who I see multiple times a week) asked me sort of embarrassedly whether or not The Little Red Haired Girl is pregnant, because he’d figured it out indirectly from somewhere. Oops. I find it hard to keep track of who’s been told what, and really I’m not interested in making announcements in the first place. Not because I’m a total bitch (which I might be), but it’s just such a rigamarole and I hate social rituals. I kind of just want to hand out a FAQ and be done with it:
1. Yes, we are excited.
2. No, it was not an accident. (That’s my favorite joke, and I make it every chance I get. Sorry.)
3. We’ve been trying since last spring, and we feel incredibly fortunate that she got pregnant so quickly.
4. Yes, that time I had to leave the softball game early was because we were inseminating. (and yes, I am a queer stereotype).
5. She’s due in mid July
6. The Little Red Haired Girl is feeling great now, the first trimester was not too bad for her, we’re hoping to be as lucky for the third.
7. The father is Chinese, we don’t know him, and mostly we picked him because his donor profile was one of the few that matched (willing to be known, Chinese, and something about cmv).
8. It’s a girl, but please don’t buy us weird gender normative pink shit. Baby Doc Martens and little cargo pants of all styles will be accepted.
9. No, we don’t have a name picked out yet, but if we did we probably wouldn’t be telling at this point anyway.
10. Yes, we’ll have a shower, and yes, you can be invited if you want. Unless you’re planning on showing up with weird gender normative pink shit.
11. Yes, we would love to use your hand-me-down _______________ since your kids are grown and you don’t need it anymore. Unless it’s weird gender normative pink shit.
12. Thank you for caring enough to ask, and sorry I’m too bitchy to walk you through it personally. If there’s anything else you’d like to know, come buy me a few beers at Yazoo sometime and then I won’t be able to stop talking about it. I’ll probably even show you her girl parts (the baby’s, not The Little Red Haired Girl’s).