In Which My Children Behave Like Hoodlums And I Long To Disavow All Knowledge Of Their Parentage

I have confiscated everything that matters to everyone, timeouts have been flying around here like hand grenades and everyone has been banished to their bedrooms for nap-time.


And the day actually started out so well…

Jacqui had completed two days of schoolwork last Friday so that she could have a play day after her morning dentist appointment today. She did beautifully at the dentist’s office and so did Kyle. We left the office all smiles and cheerful dispositions.

They were behaving so well in fact, that I decided to stop at a local educator’s supply store on our way home to use a discount that was soon expiring. I chose to leave the stroller in the car thinking I would just hold Kyle’s hand. Oh the delusions that I have fallen prey to during this parenting gig!

How unfortunate that I was not aware that the store had a Thomas the Train table set up for children to play with while their parents shopped — the minute I saw it I should have turned right back around and fetched the stroller, but I was in a magnanimous mood. The aisles I wished to peruse were short enough to see over so I would have a clear view of the train table at all times. Surely my children could play nicely for ten minutes while I selected a few of workbooks for Jacqui’s lessons?

Alas, no.

The shrieking ensued within two minutes after our arrival. Jacqui kicked it off by gleefully taunting Kyle with a toy wooden helicopter held just out of his reach. I snagged the helicopter, set it high up on the check-out counter. Then I reprimanded Kyle for shrieking and Jacqui for taunting with a warning of dire consequences should they choose to indulge in any more such nonsense.

Usually that’s all it takes. Because I don’t put up with boundaries being poked at.

I turned back to the workbooks and within moments was met by another blood-curdling scream followed by a rackety-clackety ruckus sounding much like an avalanche of wire coat-hangers being flung down a stairwell.

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