Jacqui: *sigh* I wish that it was a birthday day today!

Me: Well, every day is a birthday day for somebody.

Jacqui: Really?? Who’s Sumbubby? Do we know ‘em? Izzee havin’ a party today??

Me: No… I said some-body. I mean that every day is a birthday for someone somewhere in the world. Like today — today is actually your uncle’s birthday.

Jacqui: Really?? How old izzee?

Me: He’s thirty-four.

Jacqui: Wow!! He did a really great job getting so very old! How old are you, Mommy?

Me: Twenty-two.

Jacqui: Daddy says that wen ya say that you’s really jess kiddin’.

Me: *sigh* Yes, he’s right. I’m just kidding.

Jacqui: So???

Me: So what?

Jacqui: So how old are you?

Me: I’m thirty-mumble mumble.

Jacqui: Whoa!!! That’s super-duper old!

Me: Hey!! I’m not that old — not super-duper old!

Jacqui: Yup. Super-duper old, that’s you. So when d’ya think my uncle will catch up with ya?

Me: Never. He’s younger than me so he’ll never be as old.

Jacqui: I hate ta tell ya this Mom, but he really won’t be younger than you for forever.

Me: Unless you know something that I don’t, he will.

Jacqui: Well, ya know… there’ll be no more birthdays for you when you’re dead, Mom…

Guess she figures I’m so “super-duper old” that it will be a miracle if I hang on for too much longer…

t’s been a day.

The kind of day you don’t think about when your five-year-old pleads with you so winsomely for that seemingly innocuous little ball of fluff in the pet store.

The kind of day I shall work very hard not to think about in the months and months to come.

Today Jacqui’s Chinese dwarf hamster, Kai-Lan (yes, odd name for a hamster, I know, but she was Chinese after all), died.

It was a sad, sad day.

There was wailing.

And sobbing.

And gnashing of teeth.

And, “Oh, Momeeeeeeeee!!! I don’t think I’ll never ever be happeeeeee!! Never ever againnnnnnnnnnn!!! WAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

So we did what any sensible parents would do.

We got a replacement. Post haste.

Eensy beensy problem though. Pet store was fresh out of Chinese dwarf hamsters. Instead they had some cute little robo dwarf hamsters. Would I perhaps be willing to take one of those instead?

Meh. Sure. Why not. To-may-to, ta-mah-to… dopey, sneezy, grumpy, bashful — a dwarf’s a dwarf right?

Negatory.

There’s a HUGE difference.

The second we opened the box was the second I began scrambling to form a plot to get the hypersonic little vermin back into the box so we could take it right back to the pet store. Unfortunately I was 0.99237986 seconds to slow in this thought process. (more…)

I have confiscated everything that matters to everyone, timeouts have been flying around here like hand grenades and everyone has been banished to their bedrooms for nap-time.

*sigh*

And the day actually started out so well…

Jacqui had completed two days of schoolwork last Friday so that she could have a play day after her morning dentist appointment today. She did beautifully at the dentist’s office and so did Kyle. We left the office all smiles and cheerful dispositions.

They were behaving so well in fact, that I decided to stop at a local educator’s supply store on our way home to use a discount that was soon expiring. I chose to leave the stroller in the car thinking I would just hold Kyle’s hand. Oh the delusions that I have fallen prey to during this parenting gig!

How unfortunate that I was not aware that the store had a Thomas the Train table set up for children to play with while their parents shopped — the minute I saw it I should have turned right back around and fetched the stroller, but I was in a magnanimous mood. The aisles I wished to peruse were short enough to see over so I would have a clear view of the train table at all times. Surely my children could play nicely for ten minutes while I selected a few of workbooks for Jacqui’s lessons?

Alas, no.

The shrieking ensued within two minutes after our arrival. Jacqui kicked it off by gleefully taunting Kyle with a toy wooden helicopter held just out of his reach. I snagged the helicopter, set it high up on the check-out counter. Then I reprimanded Kyle for shrieking and Jacqui for taunting with a warning of dire consequences should they choose to indulge in any more such nonsense.

Usually that’s all it takes. Because I don’t put up with boundaries being poked at.

I turned back to the workbooks and within moments was met by another blood-curdling scream followed by a rackety-clackety ruckus sounding much like an avalanche of wire coat-hangers being flung down a stairwell.

Jacqui proudly claimed her reward — she and her dad had a grand time watching the Chinese dancers perform this weekend (while Kyle and I stayed home with fevers and sore throats). And Jacqui has become pleasantly conscious of how “cause and effect” relates to her behavior choices, which is a nice turn of events.

Especially since Kyle could care less about such matters as he is too thoroughly occupied in re-defining the concept of “the terrible two’s” in all the most obnoxiously wrong ways imaginable.

I would make him a chart too, except he would probably just slather it in contraband Desitin and stop up the toilet with it.

Oh, and an update on our hamster fugitive…

I am happy to report that we finally know the answer to the question: What does a robo dwarf hamster actually look like?

Our amazing kitty, Jingle, finally cornered the little vermin. After much shrieking, hopping, lunging and muttering of opinions regarding the intelligence of parents who bring such creatures home, the fugitive rodent was finally brought to justice three excruciatingly long days following her unfortunate escape.

And by justice I mean trapped in a VERY tall screw-top jar (with airholes) and promptly returned to the pet store.

Where she will be free to dupe into ownership and subsequently terrorize another unsuspecting family with her psychotic speed.

I just love happy endings, don’t you?

Any smartphone or tablet comes with integrated security measures. But if you forget them, it’s worth knowing how to unlock an lg stylo 6 without them.

Everyone must have a security code on their phone to prevent others from accessing your photos, contacts, messages, emails, and all your other information. Sometimes, however, they prevent you from accessing your device menu.

The reasons why you forget the built-in security measures on your phone or tablet are incredibly varied, and in this particular case it matters less. Something else is much more important. There is a way to get through them, and if this is impossible, at least you can use your lg stylo 6 again.

The so-called Pattern Lock or finger lock on the screen is a fairly effective security solution, especially if you have made the effort to make it quite complex. If the phone is locked on a gsm network, you can use a quick alternative to unlock lg stylo 6 for free.

Incorrectly enter at least five times an unlock pattern of at least four dots. If you’re lucky enough to have one of those attempts to unlock your device, you’re in luck. If not, after the five attempts, a message will appear on the screen warning you to wait 30 seconds to try again.

Also, on the screen, after pressing Ok on that message, in the lower right corner you will have two additional options “Forgot Pattern” and “Backup PIN”. You can use them to access your Android.

If Backup PIN is not available, wait 30 seconds and it will be accessible. It’s worth noting that when you defined your unlock design, you also entered a PIN as an additional protection measure, that’s what it’s all about now.

When you enter it on the screen, you will be automatically directed to the Screen Unlock Settings page in the phone’s setup menu to define another Pattern Lock. Also from here, you can enable or disable another security measure.

As our beloved Christmas tree nears the end of its lifespan, its once fragrant green needles becoming dry and crispy, Ken begins to get a psychotic twinkle in his eye. He walks by the tree, testing the crunchiness of the needles, counting down the days until his most favorite time of the year.

Then one day shortly after Christmas, out comes the Santa hat and the reciprocating saw.

And the tree is “trimmed” a second time, but this time with a lot less finesse.

This time it is hacked limb from limb while a saw blade revs relentlessly and and a crazy man in a Santa hat fills the air with maniacal laughter as he unceremoniously hucks the pieces through the open second-story window out onto the front lawn. (more…)

Parenthood. It all started out so simply. A blank canvas of wonderful plans, hopes and dreams. Nothing but a future full of potential — potential that I had filled with my own ideas of how it would be.

But then something happened. And then something more. Shadows on my crisp white sheet of parenting plans. Marks from an unexpected pen. I scrambled frantically, trying to wield it all back toward the pattern I had been so carefully crafting.

But it was out of my hands. Our world buckled and folded as my husband and I watched — disbelief, fear and grief heavy on our hearts.

Loss. Loss of so very many things. So many hopes snipped away before they could even begin to be cherished. News, diagnoses, speculations — on and on they came, cutting away until my heart bled dry.

The pieces of me were left scattered. And it hurt. And I grieved. When I looked around me, I saw the wreckage of a dream, of a family, of me.

But then I noticed something among the wreckage. Something that didn’t look like wreckage at all.

Not an accident of untold grief and tragedy, but something special. Something carefully planned and crafted — and not by my hand.

A child. A special, brilliant, beautiful child. Placed with design and purpose in my hands — gifted to me.

And there is still pain. There is still grief. There is still fear. Only now I realize that I have a choice. I can look at the holes in my pattern — I can focus on all that I have lost. Those blank missing pieces, the new marks and shadows of things yet to come. They are still there and I can choose to fix my gaze on them and grieve if I wish. Sometimes I do.

But when I do, I miss what is there. The beauty in-between the missing pieces. The beauty made possible because of those missing pieces. It is there — just as real and rare and beautiful as any snowflake. I just have to choose where to look.

1. Woke up early and decided it would be a good day to get some things crossed off the “To Do” list.

2. Agreed to let the two-year-old sit in a booster seat for breakfast instead of in the high chair.

3. Served banana slices, mini pancakes and a sippy cup of milk to the two-year-old and cereal with rice milk to the six-year-old for breakfast.

4. Left the rice milk and box of cereal sitting on the table.

5. Answered the phone and walked around the corner from the dining room into the kitchen enabling children to have unsupervised breakfast time. (more…)

So the girl had a birthday — six years old now, if you can believe it! We have lots of cousins with summer birthdays so we sort of partied all summer and are only just now coming down from the frosting-induced sugar high. Jacqui wanted a Hello Kitty themed birthday so we started it off with what else? A Hello Kitty cake. (Which of course, she could not resist poking with her little six-year-old fingers.)

Next stop for the summer birthday party extravaganza was a combined birthday zoo trip with the cousins on my side of the family. So we took a road trip and met up at the zoo. The kids all had a blast — especially with the dino-themed section of the zoo. Jacqui’s cousins live near the zoo and have season passes and were sooooo cute playing tour guide and showing Jacqui and Kyle around! Jacqui adores them and hung on every word. (more…)

This particular rock and I have a history together. We first met eight years ago. Eight years ago on one of the darkest days I’ve ever known. Nearly 90 miles separate us, but on that day, I came to visit and to take solace in its cliff-side view of the sea. I came for many reasons.

I came to sit, to breathe, to find courage to live — but most of all to pray. I came to beg and plead with God for a child — to lay my heart, hopes and dreams bare. I came to remember what faith was and to find a way to fit it back into my life alongside all of the heartache over the consecutive losses Ken and I had faced together. (more…)