Trimming The Tree (Ummm… Sort Of…)

As our beloved Christmas tree nears the end of its lifespan, its once fragrant green needles becoming dry and crispy, Ken begins to get a psychotic twinkle in his eye. He walks by the tree, testing the crunchiness of the needles, counting down the days until his most favorite time of the year.

Then one day shortly after Christmas, out comes the Santa hat and the reciprocating saw.

And the tree is “trimmed” a second time, but this time with a lot less finesse.

This time it is hacked limb from limb while a saw blade revs relentlessly and and a crazy man in a Santa hat fills the air with maniacal laughter as he unceremoniously hucks the pieces through the open second-story window out onto the front lawn.

Supposedly, the purpose is to prevent the mess of hauling a dry, needle-dropping tree back out through the front door.

Ummm…. yeah. Sure. Makes perfect sense. So very glad to know that tidiness was the primary factor considered when this particular “tradition” was founded.

I don’t exactly condone, sponsor, or recommend this sort of deranged behavior. However, I have no veto power on the subject seeing as I have been informed that the following activity falls under the category of HOLIDAY TRADITION and has therefore achieved protective status and is exempt from any form of “meddling” whatsoever until the end of time.

Since nothing can be done to alter or irradicate this particular form of insanity, I thought that it should at least be documented. For posterity. You know — so in case our children grow up with similarly disturbing tenancies, there will be unequivocal proof of that the origin is of a paternal nature.

So if you are curious to see Ken’s ummmm… shall we say “unique” take on trimming the tree, then by all means, click the video link below. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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