There Is Too Much. Let Me Sum Up…

Last year…  Last year was a doozy.

2018 was both awesomely awful and awfully awesome at the SAME TIME.

It was an emotional rollercoaster, and I still don’t have my head screwed on quite right.

Highlights include: (more…)

Spray anti molii

Exista aproximativ 40 de specii de molii. Insecta adulta este in ultima etapa a dezvoltarii, functia vitala a acestei molii fiind reproducerea. Astfel, un fluture sanatos poate depune pana la 100 de oua. Molia iubeste locurile intunecate, cum ar fi dulapurile si depozitarele, sertarele, lumina soarelui nefiind excelenta pentru molii, deoarece nu o tolereaza. Chiar si o singura molie poate face cu usurinta gauri intr-un sacou de lana in decurs de o zi. Larvele se hranesc nu numai cu lucruri de lana, ci si cu piele, pene sau legatura cartilor. Unele tipuri de molii se hranesc cu produse alimente, altele cu produse de uz casnic si textile.  Cele mai comune tipuri de molii domestice sunt cele de blana, de dulap, de mobilier si de cereale. (more…)

Dear Sue Who Worried

Dear Sue Who Worried,

Thank you for the sweet email inquiring into my wellbeing and whereabouts. I assure you I’m fine and have not been sucked into a black hole. Or a worm hole. Or a donut hole.

Though that last one does sound delicious!

I haven’t been kidnapped by gypsies. Nor have I been honeymooning with Mike Rowe, giving motivational speeches about Nutella or doing time for driving a titanium spork through one of my PITA boss’s foreheads. (more…)

Where the hell I’ve been…

After months of dragging around with a bulged disk in my back, my left leg went numb. Per the chiropractor, it was time to go see a neurosurgeon because there was no exercise he could give me and no pill anyone could prescribe to fix what was going on. My disk had ruptured and was pinching off my spinal cord.


My mother, who kept asking if I was sure I needed to have surgery, was stricken mute when the neurosurgeon informed us that people with a rupture as large as mine usually don’t have bladder or bowel control. (more…)

Walk On The Other Side Of The Street Next Time

Oh my Morgan Freeman!

Interwebz? Is that you?!


How long has it been? Oh, who cares, you look fantastic! Have you lost weight?

Well, I don’t know what you’re doing but keep it up because damn!

Wait a minute, something’s different. Something… (more…)

Weekend at Burnies

My new stove (thank you Sears card) arrives on Saturday.

I had to replace the old one after the door fell off, which I’m fairly certain is because the guys painting the kitchen used it to pull the oven away from the wall.

Contractor FAIL!

Also, you have to set it 45 degrees higher than the recommended temperature, unless you want to wait 6 hours and have Mexican pizza for breakfast. (more…)

It’s The Ball Bearings, Isn’t It?

I’m not a car person.

I put gas in it and change the oil every 50,000 miles or so and it takes me where I need to go.

Everything else is witchcraft.

How many cylinders does my car have? I dunno. 37? Why does the radio work but not the air conditioner when the car’s turned off? It’s the ball bearings, isn’t it? What’s a hemi? A half-cup car bra? (more…)

Oh Balls!

Is is just me or does everyone have one month so jammed full of birthdays you end up broke and sick of cake by the end of it?

Welcome to September.

Actually, wave goodbye to it in the rearview mirror because it’s finally over, but not without my being talked into making cake balls…again. This time for my niece Ashley’s 14th birthday.

As you may have guessed, I’m not a planner. Cake ball inspiration never hits me until I’m staring at a bowl of melted candy and a half-empty box of food coloring, which ultimately makes the decision on what the finished product will look like. (more…)

It’s Nippley In Here

Does it seem drafty in here to you?

I mean, on any given day you can hang meat up in this place but today seems overly Antarctic.

It’s colder and draftier and…bare…er.

Ah. It’s my dress. The only piece of clothing short enough to reveal the back of my knees when my ass hikes it up extra inch.

Or two.

Fantastic. (more…)

9 Days Left

I feel like punching somebody in the giblets.


Also, I feel like laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing, screaming at the next coworker to ask me ANYTHING, dancing in the back conference room to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” which has been on a nonstop loop in my head since yesterday morning, mooning the next smoker I see in the kitchen, face planting into a chocolate, butter cream iced sheet cake the size of a kiddie pool and sobbing myself into a puddle…of Wild Turkey. (more…)