Nutella – My life, my love

In the past week, I’ve discovered the joy that is Nutella. Oh man. Are you kidding me? This is the most amazing spread-in-a-bottle I’ve ever had. Peanut butter is great. In fact, it’s hard to beat peanut butter as a spread-in-a-bottle. Pimento spread is pretty good too, if you can hold back the gagging sensation when you look at it and pray nobody burps mid-spread or you’ll have to throw it away and have some celery instead. Celery, because it’s just a plain simple and clean food – unaffected by body noises. I’ve done studies. Not really. (more…)

Teach me How to Dougie

I’ve always loved singing along with the radio and, if nobody was looking, doing my fair share of chair-dancing. If you get caught doing something like that, it’s best to play it off because everyone does it anyway, right? I’m pretty sure everyone I know sings along with their favorite songs, and to a lesser extent top 40 dance music with difficult-to-understand lyrics. I bet you know someone, who you wouldn’t expect, sings along with “Like a G6″ and glosses over most of the song.

I bet you do it too. (more…)

These Dreams…

There are many theories on why we dream and what our dreams mean. Some suggest that they are random, while others theorize that dreams are based on reality. Sometimes you dream about what was on your mind before you fell asleep. God help me if any of those are true, because my dreams serve as bizarre metaphors at best.

The dream that I woke from this morning, at least as much as I can recall, went like this:

I was standing on our frontmost porch, holding a big summer sausage in my arms and climbing a ladder that was hanging from the balcony. I recall that Mrs was upstairs, and I was taking the sausage to her. It was dawn. (more…)

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