It’s The Ball Bearings, Isn’t It?

I’m not a car person.

I put gas in it and change the oil every 50,000 miles or so and it takes me where I need to go.

Everything else is witchcraft.

How many cylinders does my car have? I dunno. 37? Why does the radio work but not the air conditioner when the car’s turned off? It’s the ball bearings, isn’t it? What’s a hemi? A half-cup car bra?

Why would a car wear a bra? It’s not like they start sagging as their mileage goes up! Even if they did a bra wouldn’t fool anybody. They wear them on the OUTSIDE!

What the hell happened here? Did your car wake up from a night of partying with a fuzzy memory and some other car’s thong on its hood?

Look, if your car isn’t Madonna or Tom Hanks’ secretary from Splash (who had been hit by lightening) it shouldn’t be wearing a bra where everyone can see it.

Or at all!

But then what do I know?

You’re reading a blog by a woman who put off get her car inspected for months because she didn’t think it would pass with the driver’s side window frozen in place.

What? It sounds like a safety hazard to me!

Also, for YEARS, I thought this…

…was the sea level gauge!

Tell me that doesn’t look like water and a buoy to you!

Why would a car need a sea level gauge? Um, maybe when it belongs to James Bond and is also a submarine!

It could happen!

Oh stop snickering.

I TOLD you I wasn’t a car person!

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