So. I’ve been a bit under-the-weather for the past couple weeks with a persistent stomach flu bug and an obnoxiously tenacious fever. And the kid-lets’ patience has been wearing thin…

5-Year-Old: Mommy, I sure hope you start feeling all better soon.

Me: Thank you — what a sweet thing to say!

5-Year-Old: Yeah, you bein’ sick iz annoyin’.

Me: Well, I’m so very sorry to hear I’ve been so troublesome.

5-Year-Old: Thanks. It would be better to juss’ stop bein’ annoyin’ though, stedda poller-gizin’.

Me: Hmmmm… I do believe that I share your opinion. How exactly, have I been annoying you?

5-Year-Old: Well, when you’re sick I hafta do a bunch ah stuff myself that I usually don’t have to.

Me: Really? Like what?

5-Year-Old: Oh, you know. Like last night when I yell-ded downna stairs after bedtime that I needed ya ta get me anuvver stuffed animal an’ you said, “You have two little hands an’ two little feet — figger somethin’ out!”

Me: Ah. I see. How very annoying for you.

5-Year-Old: Yes. An’ you know what else?

Me: I have no idea. What?

5-Year-Old: My feet are NOT stuffed animals, Mommy! So your idea din’t even make enny sense!

Me: Well, people with high fevers have been known to babble nonsensically. Next time my self-indulgent state of illness annoys you perhaps you could just quietly read a book or something.

5-Year-Old: Like I was sayin’, I hope you get well soon.

9-Year-Old: Don’t say that!!! When she gets better we’ll havta do homeschool again!! You’re not annoyin’ me Mommy, you can be sick as long as you want to.

So nice to see that the little dears have my best interests at heart, no? Warms the soul, it does.

5-Year-Old: Mommy, what’s in-corpy-rated mean?

Me: What would you guess?

5-Year-Old: I dunno. That’s pretty much why I asked you.

Me: It means mixed together.

5-Year-Old: Oh. Ummmmm… Mommy?

Me: Yes?

5-Year-Old: Why wouldja wanna mix monsters tah-gether?

Me: Oh… you mean incorporated like in the movie. In Monsters Inc., incorporated basically means a bunch of monsters working together to do a job.

5-Year-Old: Well thank you for that info-mashun! I can die happy now!

Me: What in the world is that supposed to mean?

5-Year-Old: I dunno either. I’ve juss’ been waitin’ a really long time ta say it.

I’m going to try really hard not to ponder what little gems he’s saving up for his teen years…